Here’s a Help Wanted ad that I’d like to see…NOT because I would want the applicant to meet these qualifications, but because given the various nursing home administators I’ve dealt with over the past few years, I suspect these ARE the REAL job requirements!


Our facility welcomes applicants who meet the following criteria:

***  You are able to lie effortlessly to residents, family members and employees.
***  You have little if any honesty or decency in how you deal with residents.
***  You are able to document in writing total lies based on meetings with residents, family members and employees.
***  You feel comfortable instructing your nursing staff to chart absolute lies — just so long as doing so prevents your facility from being sued for neglect or abuse of residents.
***  You are able to become extremely defensive when anyone, anywhere makes even the smallest suggestion on how to improve the quality of care in your facility…and are able to do so immediately upon hearing any such suggestion.
***  You will place personal greed ahead of resident’s safety when making staffing level decisions (after all: the more short-staffed your facility, the bigger your quarterly bonus!).
***   You will be a total rubber stamp for you facility’s owner whenever they order cuts in staffing or anything else that cheapens the quality of resident care — since all of these moves are designed to improve the profit margin of your facility.